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St. Nick Coal Breaker. [Nov. 26th, 2010:09:37 am]
Click for full gallery.
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(no subject) [Jul. 20th, 2010:10:55 am]
What very few people know (as i haven't really said anything) is that i actually spent most of my weekend working on thisCollapse )
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Circles! Roundabouts! [Jun. 28th, 2010:09:53 pm]
Here is the actual text from the newest NJ Driver's Manual:

"There are no set rules for driving into, around and out of a traffic circle in New
Jersey. Common sense and caution must prevail at all times. In most cases, the
circle’s historically established traffic flow pattern dictates who has the right-ofway.
If a major highway flows into and through the circle, it usually dominates the
traffic flow pattern and commands the right-of-way. Traffic control signs, such as
stop or yield signs, at the entrances to the circle also govern which motorist has the
right-of-way. Never enter a traffic circle without checking all signs and determining
the intentions of the motorists already moving within the circle.
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(no subject) [Jun. 25th, 2010:03:59 pm]

Half of eternity is still eternity. [May. 28th, 2010:11:04 pm]
Infinity and Zero are different degrees of the same value.

Brought to you by overplay of beer commercials during my morning commute. [May. 24th, 2010:11:11 am]
(Beer Announcer Voice)
Coors Light: The World's Most Gimmicky Shit Beer.

Now Introducing the new Cold Activation Window! Since we can't be bothered actually making the beer better, we're just going to give you more gimmicky packaging! Because really, who needs to drink good beer when you could have a widemouth can to pour it down your pie-hole faster, or some bullshit mountains that change color when your beer is too cold to actually taste. It's not like you actually care about taste; you're drinking Coors. Color me unimpressed, oh drinker of drinkers. What's next, a urinal-cake scent sticker that activates when the bottle is empty, reminding you it's time to drain the lizard?

(Bar sounds in background)
Drinker 1, sarcastic: "Wow, the mountains on your beer turned blue!"
Drinker 2, clueless: "Yeah, what does YOUR beer have?"
Drinker 1: "Flavor."

(Beer Announcer Voice)
Frost Brewed Coors Light: Beer for people who believe that "Refreshment" means being a pretentious jackass.
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(no subject) [May. 18th, 2010:04:02 pm]
I would kill for a good belgian waffle.
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(no subject) [May. 12th, 2010:01:06 pm]
I know i don't update a lot. I'm not looking to cast stones.

But i'm getting *really* burned out with all the constant twitter-forwards on my friends page (where i do most of my reading). No offense intended. I still totally heart you. I just don't need to know so much minutia about your day, that glee is on tonight, or that the guy at starbucks hasn't had his caffeine enema yet.
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This is not food. [Apr. 14th, 2010:11:54 am]
I don't have my camera, so stock photo for you.

Having heard all kinds of things about this, i had to see just what was up.

This is not a food product. No, this belongs in the box marked "Death". Previously, there had been an understanding that tobacco was the only product guaranteed to kill you if used according to manufacturers' directions. Now it has been joined by fast-food.

Initial inspection: Uh, who came up with this? The chicken itself doesn't look half bad, particularly if it came on a regular bun with veggies. However, two of them with cheese, bacon, and 'Colonel's sauce' is completely unnecessary.

Taste: About the first 1/3 of it is okay. After that it becomes rather disgusting, increasing exponentially until critical mass is reached and the remainder gets tossed. Afterwards, the mouth feels unclean.

Overall: the only thing this 'sandwich' is missing is a fried egg. For true masochism, you could even try layering it with glazed donuts.

I think i'm done with KFC for the year.
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I've already survived impending death once. [Mar. 25th, 2010:12:44 am]
[Tags|, , ]

Not many people know this, but watching "Snatch" tonight reminded me. Specifically Turkish, when he comments about crossing a road without looking, and suddenly there's a car on you? Stand there and pull a stupid face.

Something similar to this happened to me years ago: i was halfway across an intersection, had the right-of-way, and some jackass driving an 80's Buick screeches a left turn at me at about 45mph, without even checking to see if it was clear. So suddenly he was on me.

Difference being, i didn't stand there and pull a stupid face. Instead, i jumped straight up and played floppy, and let him drive the car hood right underneath me, where i had been standing moments before. Seriously, he didn't even notice me till i was staring at him through the windshield, with him mashing the brake *after* i landed on the hood. Whereupon i slid off the hood, and landed on my feet in front of the car.

The EMTs told me he should have broken both my legs and run me over; so walking away was a much better outcome.

So when i tell you that i cannot be killed by ordinary means (much like Keith Richards and Voldemort), i'm serious.
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